E-Portfolio: My Camp Experience: Blog Post Nico Williams

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• 2Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

After afternoon tea me and group seven were going on the terrifying flying kiwi. One of the mum’s
put us to numbers I was number 2 but I actually went last. I don’t know why I went last but i
threw a little tantrum into doing it so my mum talked me in to do it , so I did.

When I got hooked up I was petrified. When the force of the rope pulled me up into the air and
then my heart was beating like a Bugatti or a cannon getting ready to fire. And when I got back
to land I almost fainted.

Student Reflection: In my writing one of my goals is I used simple and compound sentences in my writing because I used so and but. I did/did not show goal here because I didn't re-read my writing and I used lots of "I's" in my writing. In my writing, one of my goals is I used lots of so and but and much more. I did show this goal here I did well because I used lots of simple and compound sentences. My next step:is not to use so many I's Teacher Comment: Nico, your second paragraph in this piece of writing is really good!  I really like the language you have used to add description.  It helps me as the reader create a picture in my mind.  Your next step is to reflect on this paragraph and try to use language like this across all of your writing.  Well done. - Mrs Hunter